Back in Toronto

It’s funny to be back in Toronto and not feel like it’s home anymore. Although I lived in Toronto for a decade, which is one of my the most important season of my life that shaped my character and personality, but it is not home anymore. Partly because I am ready to go anywhere else after graduation, visiting Toronto feels more like a stop at a bus station, then coming to a final destination.

In spite of my lack of attachment to Toronto, I still choose to spend the entire holiday with my parents in Toronto instead of traveling to south of the border to meet up with friends or attend Urbana 2009. I want to get my finances together and I want to make sure that I can be on the same page as my parents as I decide on choosing the narrow road after graduation. Most importantly, this Christmas may be the last extended vacation that I get to spend with my parents.

On another note, did you know that the Scottish missionary/Olympic athlete, Eric Liddell was born in my hometown, Tianjin AND he also went back to Tianjin to teach for a period of time as a missionary? I love reading biographies of missionaries.

I can’t say too much about my placement except I love love love IT.

Au revoir!

Thoughts unrelated to work

The reason I want to avoid blogging while on placement is because there are a lot of things I should keep to myself, partially for patient confidentiality or partially just because I talk way too much than I ought to sometimes or partially because PT is not my life seriously.

So, recently I am pretty shocked at how little people really know about China, even people who have a Chinese heritage. You can’t blame them either because China is changing so rapidly. What China was like 10 years ago is drastically different from the present China. I feel like I am losing touch with this rapidly changing country even though I have lived there for 12 years and I just went back this past summer.

So, today someone asked me what do I think of the biggest cultural difference between Chinese and Canadian or Western cultural in general? Personally, I would say eye contact and jokes between strangers or acquaintances. I have to say among close friends, it’s pretty much the same, the only difference is the language switch, people joke and have eye contacts in both cultures. Partially due to semi-cultural shock, I realized that I am way too talkative and outgoing with strangers than the Chinese culture accepts. For example, in China, I would chat it up with people at the grocery store like I am their best friends and they would give me strange stares and silent treatment, but mostly because they would never expect a local Chinese person to act that way. Or, the comical sarcasm can be pretty confusing for my Chinese friends, because Chinese people don’t expect strangers on the street or mere acquaintances to joke with them like they do here in Canada.

When I came back to Canada, I had to adjust myself as well. It took me a while to get used to people actually smile and greet me and look at me in the eye during general customer services.

Recently, I have been thinking about the issue of cultural integration. I actually think that it is A LOT easier to integrate into the Canadian culture than the Chinese culture for a foreigner. This is just from my personal experience though and I am sure the older generation Chinese Canadians may disagree. Granted living in a large metropolitan city like Toronto or Beijing currently may be the same, but I am referring to having more authentic local cultural life styles.

I would think it’s a lot easier for a foreigner to feel comfortable living in a small Canadian town with only Caucasians than for a foreigner to feel comfortable living in a small authentic Chinese town. Apart from the fact that the Chinese language is extremely hard to acquire as a second language, I think the Chinese culture put such great emphasis on cultural heritage to an extent that to a local Chinese person, a racial Chinese person would always be Chinese even if he or she is third or fourth generation Chinese. As well, Chinese people do take a lot of pride in her two thousand years of history because for the past century there have been a lot of discrimination against Chinese people.

You can tell I have two big obsession apart from God: China and PT. I hope those can converge sometimes in the near future.

The end.

over-reacting

Yes I was over-reacting. Thank y’all for the encouragement. I am so pumped to learn this time!! =) No more blogging until Christmas break.

I am scared

It is official… I am scared about my upcoming placement, which happens to be on the military base where I have to work with soliders. I don’t speak French and I don’t have muscles… ahhh… >.< Did I say I don't speak French when they specificially says speaking French is an asset? and I am NOT obsessed with building up my biceps and triceps, which happen to be non-existent on me…

Yes I am scared!!!!! (i am sure God will NOT leave me stranded if He has brought me this far already. I need to take a chill pill.)

I hope this is just another Carol's over-dramatic over-rated reaction and I hope this is not the end of me. I realized that I am REALLY anti-social when I am scared.

Give me Jesus!!! I am scared! O.O

Life never gets boring

So I have finished my exams… and here are some pictures to update my past term that flew by so fast!! Everything was great except I might have only spoke less than 2 hours mandarin in the past 6 weeks, this include time spent talking with my parents. =(

OT PT hot pot

Kccf 40th reunion

Fran Chan or now Fran Jean's awesome wedding

Lastly, a word to all the single woman out there looking for your man:”A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her.” – Unknown

The call of Jeremiah, so long self

Jeremiah 1:4-6
The word the Lord came to me, saying,
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

“Ah, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

I am too immature, too selfish, not smart enough, don’t think fast enough, jack of all trade but master of none.

You know how when we are at crossroads, we get to imagine if we are a mission mobilizer for the Lord, a teacher for the Lord, a pastor for the Lord, a physical therapist for the Lord, a mother for the Lord. But the process leading up to that calling is a hard and lonely one. I can learn to play guitar really fast in a month, but after 9 years I never bother to improve on my basic skills. Why? Because I am lazy. Period.

It’s so much easier to dream up ideas of serving the Lord at those hard places, but the preparation process is a grueling one. It requires one to throw out one’s insecurities all out of the window and ground one’s faith in God alone. It requires one to see mistakes and failures as amazing opportunities to learn. It requires one to welcome criticism because “the Profs are paid to tell me what I am doing wrong, or else I wouldn’t be in school in the first place” There is no place for pride or pretense or face or self in the life of learning. I am not here to prove to anyone my worth, because that has already been proven on the Cross through Christ. I am worth that much so much so He died for me. Period.

I am here to learn, to grow and to fall deeper in love with God. The process is sooooo much more important than the destination. There is no accidents in life, everything happens for a reason.

Luke 9:23-24: Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”
So long self, there is no room for two, so you are gonna have to move. Go away! – Mercy Me
1

What Now?

Steven Curtis Chapman \ What Now

I saw the face of Jesus in a little orphan girl
She was standing in the corner on the other side of the world
And I heard the voice of Jesus gently whisper to my heart
Didn’t you say you wanted to find me?
Well here I am, here you are

So, What now?
What will you do now that you found Me?
What now?
What will you do with this treasure you’ve found?
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you remember this is right where I said I would be
You’ve found me
What now?

And I saw the face of Jesus down on Sixteenth Avenue
He was sleeping in an old car, while his mom went looking for food
And I heard the voice of Jesus gently whisper to my soul
Didn’t you say you wanted to know me?
Well here I am, and it’s getting cold

So, What now?
What will you do now that you found Me?
What now?
What will you do with this treasure you’ve found?
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you remember this is right where I said I would be
You’ve found me

So, come and know
Come and know, know me now
Come, come and know, know me now
Come and know
Come and know, know me now
Come, come and know, know me now

What will you do now that you found me?
What now?
What will you do with this treasure you’ve found?
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you remember this is right where I said I would be
You’ve found me
What now?
What now?

Palm trees

I miss this past summer A LOT lately. Maybe, because it’s starting to get cold here, but no snow yet. Maybe, because I am becoming a bit more self-focused as exams are coming. Maybe, because I have to be less Chinese and more Canadian here.

I miss this past summer for a lot of reasons, but the biggest reason was the fact that God gave me an experience of a life-time: What it would be like for a month to live completely for others? I have to tell you, it was HEAVEN! Not because this particular city in East Asia is any different, but I was given a chance to be a servant of God period. Nothing more and nothing less.

See life throws a lot of crap and a lot blessings at us, but the only thing that really get me down is my obsession with myself. Once I throw that out of the window, the sky seemed bluer even in Oct, even in Canada!

I am learning that I am a tool that God wants to use to heal people both physically and emotionally.

It would be a dream come true if I do get to go back some day, but for now… I am finding heaven on this side of the global. IT IS A BLESSING TO SERVE.

ethical issues in health care

There have been some very interesting ethical issues brought up in class and I will attempt to list them out without too much of my own personal opinion.

1. What would you do as a parent (mom or dad) when you find out that you unborn child has a severe developmental disease? Stats tell us that many people are choosing the option of abortion when they find out that they are expecting a child with special needs, which is also one of the reasons why the incidence of disease like spina bifida is decreasing. ( I have some very STRONG feeling about this issue to one extreme end, but I will save that to myself.)

2. What about child abuse vs. child discipline? It is completely against the Canadian criminal law to physically discipline a child under any circumstances. What about this verse, ” the rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). Again, the bible interpretation need to be done in its social context, which is the reason why we are not greeting each other with a holy kiss nor are women covering their head in church, although some people would prefer both =) Joking!

On another side note, I had to tackle the issue of Christianity in the Chinese culture back in the early 20th century in my undergrad Chinese history class. Many Chinese Christians continue to practice their form of ancestory worship even after they have been converted as Christians. When do we draw the line between cultural differences vs. pure idolatry when we share the Good News with people from different cultures?

3. We also talked about elder abuse in different clinical senarios. According to the Canadian Criminal code, verbal abuse (such as uttering threats) is also an abuse. In a milder form, we often see a sense of indifference or distrust or even hatred between family members, spouses etc. It’s sad that we often end up hurting those closest to us with our words, then put up a good front for the world to see.

Lastly, recently I am starting to love gospel and R&B style worship songs. We should incorporate more songs like that at church. Who knows, maybe the next generation will be rapping during service! That would be sooo cool! =)

Pension plans

Today in our geriatric class, we had presentations on number of economic related issues for the older population in Canada.
Fact #1: An older person with no other source of income or saving or pension plan can receive up to $1200 per month from the government, that does not include adpative equipment funding or free medical care. I thought that would be a lot of money, but I suppose that would never match the standard of living that some people would consider as comfortable.

From: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day.

According to UNICEF, 25,000 children die each day due to poverty.

Based on enrolment data, about 72 million children of primary school age in the developing world were not in school in 2005; 57 per cent of them were girls. And these are regarded as optimisitic numbers.

I am not reducing the economic problems that the older population are facing in Canada. All I am saying is the problems need to be put into perspective of the global poverty problem as a whole.

Jeremiah 9:23-24 “This is what the LORD says: ‘Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,’ declares the LORD.”

Note to myself: watch this and stop complaining.