Mask Off.

Last entry of this blog

carolyang — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:24:10 +0000

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.- Philippians 3:13-14

Cultural diversity

carolyang — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:33:10 +0000

What I miss the most about the my experienced in East Asia is surprisingly not the food , but the cultural diversity I experienced in the International Church. I loved picking the brain of third culture kids and their exciting and fascinating lives.The Caucasian families with their own children and adopted African children and they happen to put all these children in public schools, imagine the cultural shock. The fellowship in China with Muslim Africans who became Christians. The ex-pat from all over North America, Australia and England. The Caucasians who grew up in China and can’t figure out if they are more Chinese or more American, just like I can’t figure out if I am more Chinese or more Torontonian. China and the 5 thousand years of Chinese culture is deeply ingrained in my identity fabric.

Part of the reason I came back to Toronto and intend to stay for now is largely because this city is filled with diversity. I will continue to struggle with cultural identity issue and at least in Toronto, I know I am not alone.

My life long goal other than drawing closer to God and becoming more like Christ, is mission to the nations or at least learning to understanding different cultures and their unique histories.

“It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.” – Isaiah 49:6

Re-reading all my Chinese and Western history books! Nerd!

Fire and wood

carolyang — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:22:41 +0000

The spiritual ecstasy of being in the presence of God is like the blazing fire, and the daily task of digging in the Word is like the wood, but both are necessary for the faith of fire to continue burning for God.

God is most glorified in us when we are most most satisfied in him. Reading John Piper’s Future Grace, which aim is to emancipate human hearts from servitude to the fleeting pleasures of sin.

Grandparents

carolyang — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:51:43 +0000

As most children who grew up in Tianjin, China, my grandparents (my dad’s parents) brought me up. I’ve come to know them as my second set of parents (almost) for 12 years before I left China. There is this heart connection I have with them through blood and life experience.

It grieves my heart beyond measure to know that they are nearing the end of their lives and they still don’t know Jesus. I first came to know this grief when my grandma (my mom’s mother) past away in 2008. It was a piercing grief, a super natural grief that is completely different from the grief of other kinds of setbacks in life. It is not just the grief of losing a family member, but the grief of not knowing whether I will ever see her again or not for the span of eternity. The same grief leaves me speechless and motionless every time I pray for my grandparents from my dad’s side. In the midst of other uncertainties in my life, this particular grief is so much more forceful and stronger during this Christmas season. I wish God would answer this one prayer of bring my grandparents to Him more than any other prayers.

Thoughts on novels

carolyang — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:58:32 +0000

There is something magical that happens when one picks up a pen and write out a story, a novel with characters and plots and climax and twisted endings. Most people would believe that the most joyously part of writing or reading a novel is the anticipation for the ending. Some of the writers would admit that they wouldn’t even formulate the ending while they are in the process of writing. I, on the other hand, is notoriously known for reading the last page of each novel before proceeding to read the rest. There is something unsettling for me to not know the ending while I am in the midst of a significant story.
However, there is one story that does not give me the option of jumping to the last page of the book. And that is life. However, when I learned to pause and reflect and realize that in fact the most exciting part was never the end of the story, but rather the process, in the midst of seemingly confusing circumstances, our characters are being conformed to the likeness of Christ, our lives are transformed and in the thickets of Jordan is when Heaven touches Earth and I find myself resting in God’s heavenly arms. This perspective about life also miraculously cured my addiction to worry and eased stress in the thickets of Jordan and in the midst of storm. So then, who cares about the ending, just as long as I am in God’s arms!

“What I mean i…

carolyang — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 12:45:20 +0000

“What I mean is that most of us are always worried about what others are thinking, the concern finds its way into our words and actions and dreams and feelings… How does a person stop caring about the opinion of others enough to enjoy them without manipulating them? How does a person stop caring about money to pay rent, about where his food will come from, or whether or not he has a good retirement package? ..Nobody stops to question whether they actually need the house and the car and the better job. And because of this there doesn’t seem to be any peace; there isn’t any serenity. …We can only panic about the clothes we wear, panic about the car we drive, sit stuck in traffic and panic about whether or not the guy who cuts us off respects us.

…

And maybe when a person doesn’t buy the lies anymore, when a human stops long enough to realize the stuff people say to get us part with our money often isn’t true, we can finally see the sunrise, smell the wetness in a Gulf breeze, stand in awe at waterfall, ten square miles wide, wonder at the physics of a duck paddling itself across the surface of a pond, enjoy the reflection of the sun on the face of the moon, and know, This is what I was made to do. This is who I was made to be, that life is being given to me as a gift, that light is a metaphor, and God is doing these things to dazzle us”

- Through Painted Deserts, Donald Miller

http://www.yout…

carolyang — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:23:17 +0000

carolyang — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 23:06:58 +0000

White as Snow

carolyang — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 20:11:32 +0000

I do not want to speak as I am a woman with unclean lips, yet I must speak because although my sins are like scarlet, they have been washed as white as snow.

My sins are serious, but I have a much much grandeur and bigger and more glorious God.

White as Snow

carolyang — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 19:33:53 +0000

I do not want to speak as I am a woman with unclean lips, yet I must speak because although my sins are like scarlet, they are white as snow.

My sins are serious, but I have a much much grandeur and bigger and more glorious God.